


Equal Opposite Reaction

by HumbleFarmer



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey is Not a Palpatine, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22034617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HumbleFarmer/pseuds/HumbleFarmer
Summary: They lost something on that day, but nothing is lost forever.
Relationships: Ben Solo & Rose Tico, Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Finn & Rose Tico, Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey & Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 50





	Equal Opposite Reaction

They first noticed less than a week after that day — the day when they had nearly died in the throne room, when they had killed Palpatine together, when Ben Solo had come home.

Rey had gone for a walk as she tended to do now. She had spent so long running and fighting that now she valued small moments of peace when she could stroll among the trees and cool her feet in the stream. Though many of the Resistance had returned to their home planets, several had stayed on base to rest, recover, and plan the next step.

Rey knew realistically that she could not hide in the base of a Resistance that no longer had anything to resist, but this was the first place where she had found home, and Finn, Poe, and Rose were still here. They spent their days harvesting food from the gardens they had started, cleaning up the debris left over from the war, repairing broken machinery, and training. Learning the ways of the jedi was a more peaceful task without the threat of an enemy on the horizon.

She loved this life, this simplicity, and she was more than happy to let others handle the questions of leadership. At night, they watched the news feeds of planets rising up and overthrowing oppression. Former stormtroopers went home, democracies reformed, the impoverished classes revolted and claimed the rights they deserved.

“Shouldn’t we be helping?” Rose asked one night.

“We will,” Poe promised. “Soon. But not yet.”

Their job was not over, and soon they would throw themselves into the recovery. But for now, they were content to breathe and recover themselves.

So as Rey kneeled over a bed of greens they had planted, she only wondered over whether or not they were ready to harvest. They could wait another day or two, but she wasn’t sure if they needed them for dinner tonight.

She hadn’t brought a communicator or BB-8, and she did not want to walk all the way back to base to check their food supplies. So she reached out to Ben to ask him to check for her.

Nothing.

She reached out again, but the thread was frayed, torn.

The dread she had been denying for so long suddenly washed over her. The bond was gone.

…

Ben Solo was staying in his mother’s quarters, and he still was uncomfortable with it, with all of this. He knew he did not deserve to stay in the general’s room at the Resistance base, and he did not deserve to walk among the rebels who had chosen to stay on the planet, but he knew this was what Rey wanted — what his mother and father would have wanted — so he stayed.

Deep down, he knew this was what he wanted, too, but it was easier to think in terms of atonement, in making things right.

He supposed he should feel lucky no one had murdered him, but since he had made most of his appearances in a mask — a fact that filled him with shame now — few people connected Ben Solo with Kylo Ren. Poe, Finn, and Rose knew, but there must have been some conversation between them and Rey because they regarded him warily, but no one had drawn a weapon. Rose had even tried to make awkward small talk with him over dinner.

In another hour or so, Rey would return from her walk, and Poe, Finn, and Rose would finish with whatever project they had tackled for the day, and they would all share dinner. For now though, Ben sat on the edge of his mother’s bed, and he worked in his notebook.

He was painfully aware that he could never make up for the pain he had caused, but if he had been given a second chance at life, he needed to make that sacrifice worth something. He listed all the planets with unfair systems or slavery or corrupted war mongering, and he sketched out vague plans of people to contact and steps to take.

He was becoming so overwhelmed with all that remained to be done that he was relieved when Rey stepped into his quarters. Of course, her presence always served to lighten him and put him at ease.

“Have you tried to use the bond?” Rey asked, apropos of nothing.

Ben sighed. He had dreaded this conversation, and he had started to think they might not have it but instead silently ignore the thing that had once connected them.

“It’s gone,” he said.

“How is it gone?” Rey said, and Ben was surprised by the distress around her eyes. He had almost expected that she would be relieved, and a terrible part of him was pleased that she was upset, too.

“When you brought me back, you used the power of the force bond,” Ben said. “After that and what Palpatine tried to do, there was nothing left.”

“Oh,” Rey said, and she sat down on the edge of the bed beside him. “I guess I — well, I just thought the bond would always be there.”

“Me, too,” Ben said quietly.

They also had not talked about the kiss, and Ben dared not bring it up. She owed him nothing, and she had already been more than generous to bring him here to the Resistance base and speak on his behalf. She was the most powerful jedi in generations, she had destroyed Palpatine once and for all, and he did not deserve her. He would be happy to just be in her presence when she allowed it.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter,” Rey said, and that hurt him deeply even as he tried to hide it. She offered him a wobbly smile that only pained him more. “We’re here now in person. We can speak to each other whenever we like.”

“Of course.”

“Come, let’s go to dinner,” she said.

The two of them went to the common hall where Finn was laying out dishes on the table. It was Poe’s night to cook, but Finn never trusted him to pull off the meal on his own, so he often helped. Rose joined them a moment later, hair still wet from bathing.

“We fixed up a speeder today, and I got oil all over me,” she explained, cheeks pink.

“Well, Rose fixed up a speeder,” Finn corrected as he and Poe sat down. “I handed her tools.”

“And I gave fantastic advice,” Poe said.

“I’m sure,” Rey said.

Ben envied the ease with which they talked, comfortable with each other, even enough to tease. As conversation shifted to plans for the next day and then the news the feeds had brought them, he wondered at how easily they found the words. He mostly ate his dinner in silence, and he only answered questions directed at him. He wanted to say one thing, just one thing to contribute to the conversation, but he was afraid his insertion would be unwelcome or his insecurity would make his words sharper than he intended, so he stayed silent.

After dinner, Finn and Rey always went to train with the force while Rose and Poe watched, and normally Ben returned to his room for the evening, but now Finn leveled him with a careful stare.

“You should come with us,” Finn said.

“What?”

“To train,” Finn clarified. “Rey’s showed me what she learned from Luke and Leia, but neither one of us has had a ton of formal training. You have.”

He was kind enough not to mention where Ben had received that training even if he was certain that was on all their minds. He had avoided training with them because he didn’t want to make them nervous by his picking up a light saber again, but now his heart sung with the possibility.

He nodded. “Okay.”

They all went to a clearing out in the forest, and Rose and Poe went straight to a log to sit with a familiarity that spoke to how often they had done this.

Finn used Luke’s old light saber, and Rey gave Ben the one that had belonged to his mother. He tried not to feel sentimental about either of these things, so he focused on how easily Rey moved with the light saber she had built herself — the light golden.

“We mostly spar,” Rey admitted.

“They used to meditate, but that was boring to watch,” Poe added from the side.

“Can you teach them to levitate stuff?” Rose asked.

“Or that mind trick thing Rey can do,” Finn said. “I haven’t been able to figure it out.”

Ben was a little overwhelmed to have all their attention on him — something that was much easier in a mask and almost unbearable with his face open to them — but he nodded. “It’s been a while since my training, but I can show you some exercises that helped me,” he said.

To the disappointment of Poe and Rose, the exercises involved a lot of meditating, but at the end of the lesson, Finn was juggling rocks without touching them with ease.

Ben felt a swell of pride, and a small smile played at his lips. He could almost imagine a future when this felt like belonging.

…

Rey was starting to feel restless, which was stupid. They deserved a break after they had spent so long fighting, and she knew that Finn, Poe, Rose, and most of all Ben needed this. They needed to feel human again and to enjoy the simple pleasure of being with each other. Ben was starting to loosen around the others, and as she’d hoped they would, they were starting to take him under their wing as well.

She tried to help him the best she could, but she did not always know what she was doing, and he needed more than one person in his life anyway. She recognized the practicality in all of this, yet she still felt that itch, the desire, the need to _do_ something.

“No one who is meditating should have that much tension in their body.”

Rey breathed out a laugh as she gave up on her meditation pose and turned to see Ben with a mug of tea in his hands. It was early, and she liked to meditate among the trees, but she rarely saw anyone else out and about at this hour.

He seemed to recognize the question in her eyes because he said, “I woke early, and I thought I might take a walk.”

“I’ll join you,” she said. Meditating certainly wasn’t getting her anywhere.

He waited long enough for her to make a mug of tea as well, and then they both set out in the forest. They existed in the peace of silence for a while, and Rey found her mind traveling to when she had felt his energy in the back of her mind always — sometimes steady, sometimes angry, always there.

“I miss the bond,” she said.

“You do?”

“I’d know what you were feeling right now if it was still there.”

“I’ll just tell you,” he said. “I’m feeling that I didn’t add enough sugar to my tea.”

Rey smiled softly as she took a sip of her own tea. Jakku never had anything like this, and she didn’t think she would ever stop feeling grateful for these little luxuries.

“I miss it, too,” he said. “I know we didn’t reach out to each other after what happened on the Supremacy, but I could always feel you. It was nice to know that you were doing okay even when I couldn’t see you.”

“I mostly felt anger and paranoia from you,” Rey admitted.

She glanced at his expression, and she could see the regret clear on his features. “Hux was constantly undermining me. I kept waiting for a coup or an assassination attempt. I didn’t feel like I could trust anyone.”

“You were alone,” Rey said. “But not anymore.”

“Not anymore,” Ben agreed.

Part of Rey wanted to reach out and hold his hand, and she thought back to the kiss they had shared in the throne room. They had both been deliriously happy for the fleeting moment before he fell, and then Rey had desperately reached out for the power, any power, to bring him back. She didn’t know she had been using the energy of the force bond at the time, but even knowing what it would cost them, she would do it all over again.

She wasn’t sure if she was ready to address the kiss yet. For now, she wanted to just be with him, and considering neither one of them had thought they’d get this much, it felt like enough for now.

At least it would if she didn’t have this damn restless energy in the back of her mind.

“What is it?” Ben asked.

Even without the bond, he was annoyingly good at reading her expressions.

“I know we need to rest,” she said. “But I keep thinking about what’s left. Finn and Rose told me about these kids being enslaved on Canto Bight, and I feel guilty being here when I could be doing some good for people.”

“You’ve already done more than anyone could ever ask of you,” Ben said. “But if you want to go to Canto Bight, we’ll go to Canto Bight.”

“But everyone’s still recovering, and Finn needs to train. I can’t ask this of them.”

“You’re not leaving forever,” Ben said. “This place will still be here when we get back.”

Rey stopped to better meet Ben’s eyes, and he held still and opened himself to her. The last time she had left a planet, she hadn’t returned, but she supposed that was the difference between a prison and a home. She could come back here.

“We?” she said.

“You’re not going alone,” Ben said. “And I’ve been here long enough to know the others will say the same.”

He was right. The moment she brought it up at breakfast, Rose agreed first, and Finn and Poe quickly followed, which made Rey wonder if she wasn’t the only one feeling restless. They planned and packed for the rest of the day, and the next morning, they set out for Canto Bight.

…

Ben was nervous in a way he had not felt in a long time — the anticipation of a fight. When he was Kylo Ren, he had been secure in the knowledge that he was the only force user on the battlefield, and no one could match his power once he dropped his reservations and let go.

Now as he sat in the ship and stared down at his mother’s light saber, he wondered what he would do in the heat of the moment. He imagined the shock and horror on Rey’s face as he cut down a room full of enemies. He knew realistically that he and Rey had killed men together, and Poe, Finn, and Rose and had fought their fair share of battles, but Ben was overly aware of a darkness that lived inside of him but not them.

Would he know when to hold back? If he messed up, would they give up on him as a lost cause? He wouldn’t blame them if they did.

By the time they landed in Canto Bight, Ben still didn’t have an answer.

They went to the slave traders first. Rose had been in favor of foregoing any kind of politics and breaking the children free, but as Rey pointed out, they needed to give them a chance to choose the right thing. And if they chose wrong instead, then they would break the children in out with all the violence that would require.

“But they deserve the chance,” Rey had said, and Ben had not been able to bring himself to look up and see if she had been looking at him.

Rey was beautiful and powerful as she stood before the slave traders in her white robes and traditional three buns. She carried her light saber at her side and her staff in her hands, and she demanded that they end this systematic exploitation of children.

She had been sold once, too, Ben thought, and he wondered if she was remembering that now.

Of course, the slave traders denied her and even laughed in her face that she would dare to challenge them.

Truth be told, Ben thought they were all a little relieved. They had been itching to fight these monsters since the moment they landed, and the moment Rey activated her light saber, he and Finn did the same, and Poe and Rose pulled out their blasters.

Ben mostly joined Finn in defense as they warded off enemy blaster bolts to protect Poe and Rose while they shot returning blasts. Rey launched herself straight toward the leaders but found herself caught up in their guards. She fought well, but she was significantly outnumbered.

“Go,” Finn ordered. “I’ve got it here.”

Ben quickly glanced over to confirm that, yes, Finn could cover Poe and Rose without his help, so he raced to join Rey. Even without the force bond giving him a sense of what she was doing and feeling, they still fell into sync the moment he was at her side, and they moved to fight back-to-back.

Normally, he let his mind slip into a place of instinct during a fight, but now he felt overly aware of every move he made. He reminded himself that Rey and the others were fighting to kill, and he did as well, but he couldn’t go too far. He couldn’t cross that line.

He was so caught up in his head that a sharp blade caught him in the shoulder and across his chest, and Ben was so shocked that Rey killed the guard for him.

“Are you okay?” she said.

She wasn’t in his head anymore either, but she knew his fighting style well enough to recognize when he wasn’t himself.

Ben nodded, a little breathless with the exertion and pain. “It’s fine,” he said.

Rey did not look convinced, but she turned back to the remaining slave traders who had cowered behind their more aggressive counterparts.

“Now,” she said. “Let’s renegotiate.”

They killed anyone who refused to consider releasing the children, but two of the former traders agreed to free them. Rey forced them to turn over all their money to compensate the children of the families, and then with a warning that they would be checking in, they left.

Rose and Finn led them to where the children were kept, and after Rey and Poe took care of any guards who protested, they returned the children to their families. Only a few were from different planets, so they set them up with safe passage, including food and clothing, back to their homes.

By the time they finished, they had missed several meals, so they agreed to eat at a small watering hole in the lower district before they returned to the base. They took a table in the back and ordered, and conversation naturally fell around the events of the day.

At first, they took a somber tone as they recounted the children and the relief of the families who’d received them, but eventually as the drinks flowed, they grew triumphant and giddy in their success.

“I had my first light saber fight,” Finn exclaimed. “I saved your ass,” he continued, jabbing at Poe.

“Then we’re almost even,” Poe returned.

Rose rolled her eyes and reminded them that she’d saved both their asses.

While the three of them started a count of various savings of asses, Rey turned to Ben and asked quietly, “How’s your shoulder?”

She had already healed him enough to stop the bleeding and prevent infection, but he had stopped her from healing him all the way in case the effort tired her. He knew he wasn’t mortally wounded, but after what happened in the throne room, he still felt wary about using force healing too casually.

“It’s only a little sore,” he said, moving his arm to demonstrate that everything worked properly.

Rey nodded. “Fighting together still worked. Even without the bond,” she said.

Ben offered a small smile. “I guess we still have that.”

“Okay, but I worked for the Resistance way longer than any of you,” Poe was saying. “I’ve definitely saved more asses than any of you.”

“Actually, I think Rey probably has you beat,” Ben said, and for one terrible moment, no one said anything. Had he phrased it wrong, used the wrong tone, inserted at the wrong time?

Then Poe laughed and winked at Rey, who blushed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right on that one,” he said.

Finn shoulder checked Poe, and Rose asked Ben if he had heard the story of how she had met Poe — which apparently involved some unfortunate flirting on Poe’s part — and Poe groaned while Finn looked enchanted by this new insight.

Maybe this conversation thing wasn’t so hard after all.

…

They retuned to the Resistance base, and something had changed. Rey wasn’t sure if going on a mission together had cemented their bond as five friends and not pairs of friends strung together, but whatever had happened, she liked the change.

Dinner was more comfortable and lively, and Ben always joined them for the evening training now. Finn now occasionally disarmed one or the both of them during a sparring session, and he had managed to mind trick Poe once.

Rose and Ben had found something in common in the books that they’d read. Apparently, Ben had made his way through Leia’s collection as a kid, and during downtime at the Resistance, Rose had been reading them as well. They talked about how they both liked adventure stories, and they debated the merits of the different tropes. Rey hadn’t read much in her childhood on Jakku, but listening to them, she thought about picking up a few of Leia’s books.

Their morning walks also became a regular thing. Rey always woke first to meditate, but Ben seemed to know when her meditation was no longer productive because he would arrive with two cups of tea — perfectly sweetened — and they would walk through the forest.

Sometimes they enjoyed each other’s company in silence, and sometimes they talked the simple practicalities of living on the base: food, repairs, news feeds. Rey preferred the rare days when they actually talked about themselves. She shared bits of her time on Jakku, and Ben slowly opened up about pieces of his childhood. She knew it hurt him to talk about them, but he seemed to determine to show her that side of him.

Once, he even talked about the First Order. Snoke’s voice always in his head, Hux’s constant disdain, the culture of fear he had helped to propagate.

She hadn’t comforted him or reassured him that he was beyond that. She had listened, and when he’d finished, he’d said, “I’m not sure I can ever make it right.”

“Maybe it’s not about making things right,” Rey had said.

Today was a lighter day. They sipped their tea and pointed out the various creatures hiding among the foliage. Ben confided in her about a prank Finn and Rose were planning against Poe.

“Yeah, I know,” Rey admitted. “Poe heard them planning, and now he’s scheming a counter prank.”

Ben winced. “I guess we’ll find out who can out-plan who.”

“Hey, what’s next on your list?” Rey asked.

“My list?”

“I’ve seen your notebook,” she said. “The one with everything in the galaxy that needs fixed. What was after Canto Bight?”

Ben blushed, but Rey didn’t understand why. She knew he struggled with finding some quantifiable way of making up for all the wrong he did, and judging by the content of his notebook, he had some good ideas.

“Canto Bight wasn’t the only planet with slave trades. I know of a few others,” he said. “Are you feeling restless again?”

Rey shrugged. “Not exactly. I like it here, but we are the last of the jedi. I feel like we should be doing what it takes to bring balance, and your list seems like a good place to start. Besides, if Finn realized he was force sensitive, maybe others will, too.”

“Are you thinking about training them?” Ben asked.

She hadn’t been exactly. She still saw herself as more of a student than a teacher though she recognized that she and Ben are the last two jedi with any kind of training from the jedi of the previous generation. Still, an idea had been forming in the back of her mind.

“This base is already built to hold a lot of people. We have gardens and refreshers and places for people to sleep. We’ve been making repairs all this time because we didn’t have anything else to do, but maybe this could be a school.”

Ben nodded, clearly intrigued by the idea. She could tell he felt a little uncomfortable considering his last experience with a jedi school, but Rey was not Luke.

“And you could teach them,” she said.

Now Ben stopped in his tracks and stared at her with horror. “Rey, I can’t do that,” he said.

“Why not? You’ve done a good job teaching Finn. He’s nearly as good as us now,” she pointed out.

Ben shook his head. “You can’t ask these kids to put their training in my hands, not after what I’ve done. What if I—?” He shook his head again, unable to even complete the thought.

Rey took his hand and squeezed, and he was so distracted by the touch that he listened while Rey said, “That’s why you’d be the perfect teacher. You understand how the darkness can tempt you, and you won’t judge a student for being drawn to it. They’ll see you as someone who understands.”

When he didn’t immediately respond, Rey squeezed his hand and then let go. “Just think about it,” she said.

In the meantime, the five of them went on a few more missions. They went to the slave traders first, and when they inevitably refused to change their ways, they attacked. Finn was becoming more confident as a jedi, and she and Ben fought together nearly as seamlessly as when they were bonded. He didn’t get quite as caught up in his head as before, so there were no more accidental wounds.

She brought up the idea of turning the base into a place to train young jedi, and Finn, Poe, and Rose enthusiastically agreed to the idea. Poe and Rose even agreed to help teach the children in the ways of fighting without light sabers, mechanics, and other practical life skills that the jedi way may not cover.

Ben stayed silent during these conversations, but Rey could feel his anxiety, and she knew he worried over the decision even when they weren’t talking about the school. She didn’t push him but waited for him to bring it up on his own.

It took a few weeks, but finally, during their morning walk, he said, “I’ll do it. I can’t promise I won’t make mistakes, but I want to try.”

Rey reached out for his hand as she said, “That’s all I ask.”

He took her hand and squeezed, and she could not ignore the way her heart swelled. For so long, she had wanted a family and a home and place where she felt she belonged, and now she had Finn and Poe and Rose. She had Ben. Soon, this place would also be home to a plethora of children searching for the same things that she had yearned for long ago.

“They’ll find it,” Ben said. “You’ll build a good school. I know it.”

Rey narrowed her eyes, and she glanced up at him. “Did you—?”

Ben’s eyes widened. “I think I felt—”

“I had thought I felt the bond,” Rey said. “A few times. But I didn’t think—”

“I think,” Ben said and then paused. After a moment, he continued, “Force bonds have been known to form between jedi in the past. Ours was always strange because it happened almost spontaneously, but this time, I think it formed naturally.”

A soft smile played on Rey’s lips. “I’m glad it’s back.”

“Me, too,” Ben said, and he smiled in return.


End file.
